The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
