When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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