"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Say something about gay babies.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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