The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
this is an emotional support booty call
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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