It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i will never coherently bang her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
