he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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