Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
