dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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