btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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