he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
as a side note pls kill me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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