So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize