Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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