Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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