dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.