I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?