A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.