i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.