i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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