Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
