Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
