If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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