she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
