She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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