I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
