I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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