Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
