He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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