my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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