We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
