Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
