I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
