I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
