R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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