playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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