Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
