Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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