i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She's the barista slut.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
