he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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