so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
