I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
