I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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