So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize
