I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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