What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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