Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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