Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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