Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
