it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
