Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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