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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is this?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Who do you want it to be?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sarah Palin

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me

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• (518): View more from New York

  I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward

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• (530): View more from California

  Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight

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• (661): View more from California

  I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".

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• (607): View more from New York

  And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)

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