thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
