i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize