he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
