You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
