so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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