Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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