on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
