my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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