She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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