'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have fence marks all over my body
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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