I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
