the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
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Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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